Untitled #11

Time is not slipping

I think my eyes have just been closed for way to long

My veins are not dripping, drip drop on the floor

At least not today, not anymore

Untitled #10

I offer you my strength

 It shall hold you

Take this from me...

I offer you my beating heart

 It shall hold you

Take this from me...

I offer you my mind

It shall comfort you

Take this from me...

We can hide in the darkest corners of the night

Hidden well from sight and burning...

If it shall rain and cleanse me,

Then I offer you my soul, and it shall hold you

Take this from me...

If the Sun spits fire and burns our corners of the night,

Then i shall map the sky

I will speak our destination as a whisper in your heart

Take this from me...

And we shall find ourselves dancing on the dark side of the Moon my love

For you are my gravity...

But if you should turn and fade into the shadows,

Then take these feelings from me and bury them,

Leaving only memories of what you took,

And I will pray that they will hold me...

Untitled #9

Have I committed emotional treason upon myself,

Betraying my own dreams... 

Have I taken what is before me and twisted it this way and that way

Twisted it into a little ball and tucked it into my shoes... 

 A reminder that the pain i sometimes feel as I walk through this life,

Is just a mere fabrication of what was never supposed to be... 

I think I will simply take off my shoes...and run... 

Untitled #8

There was no explaining why I was where I was 

As if I just woke up there 

My eyes clear from a fog, and a man emerging from a car comes into focus 

I am familiar with the movements of his steps 

He sidesteps to the left just a few feet as if trying to catch his balance 

Then he straightens and starts his approach 

I know him… 

As he walks closer his facial features change 

His lines of wisdom and years start to fade and I start to weep 

I know him… 

And then he is in front of me with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face 

I place my hand on his cheek just to prove this reality 

You have the face of a 12 year old I say 

Again he smiles 

I can’t hold back my tears 

This is a man I have heard of my whole life but never knew 

And as we embrace I feel comfort and peace and a life of sadness 

I wish he could see you as I see you, as I gesture to the other man to the right of me 

A man of meek stature, with fading eyes and the lines of wisdom and years upon his face 

He doesn’t remember the man with the face of a 12 year old 

Yet he looks deep into his eyes, and he too starts to weep and whispers, 

I know him… 

I stroked the man with the 12 year olds face and said thank you 

I have always dreamed of meeting you 

I turn away and take the hand of the man of meek stature 

I place my hand on his cheek and I say 

I recognize this twinkle in your eye 

And he smiles at me 

I say, I recognize this smile 

And we start to weep, and I say 

I know you, I finally know you… 

(for my father)

Untitled #7

To write, or not to write 

My passion is a flighty whim, 

To speak, or not to speak 

My words sometimes forsake me, 

To feel, or not to feel 

My soul is at capacity, 

I have put pen to paper 

Until the ink runs dry, 

Then on to my weapon of choice 

And then the lead breaks, 

So i scream loud unto an empty room 

"Why do i have to be the strong one", 

I can weep before the blind, 

I can scream before the deaf, 

And I can hide within my shadow... 

I can curse the darkness, 

And i can damn the light, 

for neither give me freedom... 

I have been the pages in a book, 

Turned only to meet the end... 

I have crawled into a picture frame, 

To be admired then left to hang... 

Forced not to speak with a swiftfull gesture 

Of a hand pressed to my lips... 

Silenced for less than a spoken word, 

It can be easily read in my eyes... 

And I can loose my way and my release 

If when pressed to hard the lead breaks... 

Untitled #6

Time does not mark me 

I am golden 

An illusionist if you will... 

Love crashes and shatters 

Slamming to the floor 

Yet silent and still... 

I hear nothing 

I see nothing 

I feel nothing yet... 

Your breath on my neck 

Go away, go Away 

It's you I have not met... 

You take my hair 

and force your flesh 

I am dancing with a stranger... 

Your eyes of red 

and nails so sharp 

Who would think it would be danger... 

Not me, Not me I say 

I have danced this dance before... 

Time does not mark me 

I am golden 

And will sleep forever more... 

An illusionist, 

A masterpiece 

Of silence and good graces... 

To the darkness I go 

I know the way 

And will remain forever faceless 

Untitled #5

So insignificant are these little things that you have placed before me 

I have no desire to entertain you 

It is with a guilty heart and a tainted soul that you speak with such passion 

Spare me your little things 

Spare me your words and save your strength 

For you do not know as of yet what you may need 

to claw your way out of the burning pit that you have made your bed in 

You had forsaken every heart that opened 

You walked ten feet tall 

It was you who had the nerve to say, “Look at all I have done” 

As if pleased with your acts of righteousness 

Sit pretty, little lion heart and kindly bow your head 

And I will snap your neck with a gentle twist and send you on your way 

To the fiery pit in the depths of hell where only Satan hears you pray

Untitled #4

Why turn your eyes to the ground...

And must you fumble about...

Why do you smile only as you turn away...

Sweet and Humble Shy Guy~

You are not so strong that you can not be broken...

Why do you hold on so tight to a belief that there is no one...

No one who can raise your head...

No one who can hold your heart...

Bitter and Untrusting Shy Guy~

Why can't you let go of This or That...

This, that makes you build your walls...

That, which closes doors...

Hurt and Lonely Shy Guy~

Why can't you raise the sun on a rainy day...

Even if only in your mind...

Why can't you see that you are perfectly imperfect,

in the most perfect way...

Hurt and Lonely...

Bitter and Untrusting...

Sweet and Humble...

Perfectly Imperfect...My Shy Guy~

Untitled #3

In my heart I know to love

In my soul I ache for what i know I may never have

Who is to say that being loved is enough

While my tears cry, please let it be true

Who will treasure my gifts

Pitty the one who walks blindly by my side

For it could be days or years before he sees I am gone

The stars I wished upon are no longer guiding me

I may be as blind as he

But never will I doubt loves intentions

Oh, but to be loved without words is the love I need to breathe

May I embrace you for a while to see how fast your heart beats

Would you kiss me slowly so I can feel how deep you breathe

And if how you love is to enter me, then do so slowly 

as you whisper my name one last time

And if at this moment my body is full of all that you can give

My heart is green with envy and my soul is struggling

It is the blind man, whom cannot be blamed

that will never see 

that my heart and my soul are the gifts I have 

for him from me

Untitled #2

It was you who cast the stone that shattered everything

with your big hands and small mind

A mind that does not think

I do not need you, you have nothing to give

I take this first breath of many, that will be taken alone, and yet it fills me

I will not look over my shoulder

I have no desire to know what could have been 

I have seen enough already

I will carry on, carry on

I have not fallen, I have not jumped, i am not broken

And i will carry on, carry on

Until my ashes make me older than time, i will carry on

And if the answers are truly blowin in the wind then I will fly

You have not cut my wings with your big hands

And your small mind was never my enemy

I awaken every day with faith and my will to carry on

And carry on I will, with a passion

And you can cast your stones that shatter everything

in someone else's direction

Untitled #1

Close your mouth thin man, there is no more you can say

But take my hand as you try and find your way

There is no cold anymore that will chill your brittle bones

Only warmth will forever hold you, as if in my arms while i fever

And if this sickness of mine is enough i will carry you in my arms forever

And I will smile when you smile

And I will cry when you cry

And I will scream when you scream

I will share with the world your thoughts in your head

Please close your mouth thin man

I can hear when no words are spoken clearly

My soul is of your soul and we are bound that way, dearly

Rest now thin man in my arms whilst I fever

I will sweat your tears 

And they will shine and glisten for all to see

Close your mouth thin man, rest now thin man, sleep now thin man

And in my arms you will always be, endlessly near me

(for my Father)